Ways to say "I Love You," and Grand Marnier Cake

Valentine's day is approaching, and it seems appropriate to talk about love.  In January, I took a class which emphasized the essential qualities of a counselor.  The subject matter was largely introspective and reflective, but even so, I think the class could have been alternately titled "How to love others well." 

As I took this class in January and had a proverbial mirror held before me, I realized how little time and effort I spend intentionally seeking to love those in my life.  I think it is easy to go on "auto-pilot" when it comes to loving family and friends.  We let the days and weeks pass us by, while we love one another only clumsily, if we make any effort to love at all.  So, in light of Valentine's day, a day to celebrate love (whether romantic or not), I want to reflect a bit on practical ways to love others intentionally. 

Call, Text, or E-mail.  My tendencies concerning communication revolve around necessity rather than love.  If I need something, or I need to communicate something, I will pick up my phone or computer.  But rarely do I purposefully seek to encourage or love others without prompting.  I hope to be more purposeful in initiating loving and encouraging words using these oh, so easy conveniences!  I know those words will be appreciated and the recipients will certainly feel loved. 

Write a hand-written letter.  This is another area where I struggle.  I want my letters to be heart-felt and well-worded, and so I tend to put off letter-writing for another time when I can invest more time and thought.  But the truth is, hand-written letters will be greatly appreciated, no matter how brief or brilliantly stated. 

Spend time together.  Whether time is spent together studying over books, chatting one-on-one over tea, or savoring the company of friends and a good meal, I am learning more and more the benefits of setting aside time for others.  I find that I am more purposeful about this when I put it on the calendar.  When we do spend this time together, I am learning to make sure that I will not be distracted, so that I can truly enjoy and love those in my company. 

Do something for them.  As I am learning to be more intentional in loving others, I realize that sometimes lives can become hectic and there is little time for tea, much less dinner together.  But loving well might mean going to the store for a friend, or proof-reading a paper, or doing something else that might make their "to-do" list a little lighter. 

Give them a gift.  This is easiest for me, but I still need to strive to seek to love others in a way that they would feel loved.  A trip to a favorite store, a box of a favorite kind of tea, tickets to a movie, or a thoughtful after-school snack will all be sweet reminders that "I love you."  And, of course, chocolate, especially in cake form, being synonymous with love, also expresses that sentiment. 

I hope that my musings and strivings to love others well have encouraged you to think about how you can intentionally love those in your life.  I would love to hear your ideas of how you purposefully show love to your loved ones!

Grand Marnier Chocolate Bundt Cake

Adapted from Mom's Special Company Cake, Cooking Light, September 1998

For the Cake:

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/4 cups sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup Grand Marnier or other orange-flavored liqueur
2 large eggs
Zest of one orange

For the Glaze:
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup stick margarine or butter
1/3 cup Grand Marnier or other orange-flavored liqueur
1/4 cup water

Preheat oven 350.

Butter and flour a bundt pan. In a large bowl, combine all of the cake ingredients except the orange zest. Using a hand mixer, beat the ingredients for 30 seconds, then increase the speed to medium and beat for three minutes. Using a spatula, stir in the orange zest. Pour the batter into the prepared bundt pan.

Bake at 350 for 50 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Leaving the cake in the pan, prick the cake all over with a fork or wooden pick. Combine the glaze ingredients in a small saucepan, and bring to a boil for one minute. Pour the glaze over the cake; allow the cake to cool completely in the pan. Once cooled, remove to a serving plate and store in an airtight container.

This cake is even better on the second or third day, and would be excellent with Frangelico, Kahlua, Amaretto, or other chocolate-friendly liqueurs in place of the Grand Marnier.

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Hospitality, Entertaining, and Scrambled Eggs with Mushrooms and Truffle Oil

When we open our home for others, there is often a silent heart struggle between whether we are showing hospitality, or merely entertaining.  Sometimes the two concepts seem synonymous and they look largely the same, but I am coming to understand how largely different they are as a matter of the heart. 

Entertaining is welcoming someone who you love and enjoy into your home.  It is largely about spending time together and enjoying the company of one another.  You bring out your best things and you serve your best meal.  The problem with entertaining is that it all too often becomes all about me, the host or hostess.  The focus can quickly change from loving and serving your guests to impressing your guests; it can quickly become self-centered.  Everything can turn into a show, an occasion for praise; the focus is no longer on serving or even enjoying the company of your guests but impressing them.  When opening your home turns this direction, you find yourself becoming frazzled if things do not go as planned, and a successful evening is judged by the number of compliments offered.  I speak from experience here, can you tell?

Hospitality, on the other hand, is welcoming someone into your home in order to love, serve, and enjoy them.  The actions might look the same, but the heart is different; it is others-centered.  You bring out your best things and serve your best meal in order to honor your guest.  Your time together is less about you, and more about how you can serve, love and enjoy them.  The focus is not on the success of a well-executed meal, but rather is on blessing those who are in your home. 

I don't want to come across saying that it is wrong to have friends over for an impressive meal, but I hope that each year I might do less entertaining, and more hospitality.  Hospitality seems to emphasize love of others despite myself; it calls me to open my home and life to both friends and strangers, to those who I enjoy and those who annoy, whether I am on top of my game or exhausted at the end of a week.  Being a gracious hostess means that when others walk away from our home, they take a blessing with them.  It is an embodiment of true love. 

We are beginning a new semester today (my final semester), and one thing that I hope to keep before me throughout this semester is to love others well, even in the busyness of life.  With this in mind, we decided to seize our last "free" morning to open our home to some of our best friends for brunch, with the hope of loving them well.  I hope that our friends enjoyed this delicious meal (including these wonderful scrambled eggs), but more importantly, I hope they left our house feeling blessed and loved. 

Scrambled Eggs with Mushrooms and Truffle Oil

1/2 tablespoon butter
8 oz mushrooms (Cremini or a mix of wild mushrooms), chopped
2 green onions, sliced (divided)
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 tablespoon butter
8 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons half & half
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon ground pepper
1 teaspoon truffle oil

Heat 1/2 tablespoon butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat.  Add the mushrooms and 1 tablespoon sliced green onions for 5-10 minutes, until the mushrooms are tender and most of the liquid evaporates, stirring often.  Season the mushrooms with 1/4 teaspoon salt and transfer the mushrooms to a small bowl, set aside.

Stir together the eggs and half & half.  In the same skillet in which you cooked the mushrooms, melt 1/2 tablespoon butter over low heat.  Add the eggs to the skillet and cook, without stirring, for 1-2 minutes.  Once the edges start to set, gently stir the eggs once every 30 seconds until the eggs are almost completely set; remove from heat.  Season the eggs with salt and pepper.  Pour the eggs onto a warmed serving platter and drizzle truffle oil over the eggs. 

Return the mushrooms to the hot skillet and cook over medium heat until they are warm; pour over the scrambled eggs.  Sprinkle the remaining green onions over the top. 

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(In case you're wondering, that not-so-lovely but oh-so-yummy treat in the background of these photos is praline bacon).